What’s the point? What’s the point in “networking” if the people you are connected with are non-responsive? I keep asking myself that as LinkedIn keeps hounding me to upgrade to a premium subscription to its professional networking platform. I wondering if LinkedIn has actually become useless and is not serving its original purpose AS a professional networking platform?
Years ago LinkedIn was promoted as a way to network with other professionals, make connections, perhaps even find a job.
Then it somehow, at some point, became akin to Facebook, and suddenly I was being asked to wish people I didn’t really know a “Happy Birthday!”
Regardless of that, I continued to build up to over 11,000 connections on LinkedIn. It’s 11,877 to be exact. So if you are a math person, or know anything about “odds,” then you should THINK that if you put something out there to 11,877 people, the odds would tell you that you should get SOME response, right?
When a connection posted that SHE was having troubles getting responses from HER connections, I commented…
“I have over 11,000 connections on here. And except for ONE person…nobody answers a question or responds to anything. Although…I get 100’s of solicitations…THAT I get.”
Her response was a pretty reasonable one…
“Time to do some connection hygiene, I reckon. It might be another one of those pesky algorithm issues where people usually only see posts from those with whom they interact more frequently (?). But given your enormous number of connections (I am probably, among the 3 tiers, at half that), it is ridiculous that you are not getting responses.”
My answer to that…
“I, too, believed it may be an algorithm issue, like all social media…however…when you have 11,800 connections…you would THINK that a FEW would have some interest in responding, right? So I once asked the question “How much does ‘truth’ matter when you are involved in litigation?” Of my 11,800 connections, about 60% are attorneys or paralegals. Guess what? Not a SINGLE SOUL answered the question…NOT ONE. What does that tell you? I reached out to a connection whom I have had for over 20 years. I asked for simple input about a fundraising question. She NEVER responded to me. When I confronted her about the lack of a response, she DID answer with “Alan I’m ridiculously busy with work and life stuff.” But she has time to post MULTIPLE times a day across multiple social media platforms including LinkedIn…yet couldn’t spend 5 minutes, or less, to give me a simple response? Or at least say, “I am busy and will get to this when I can.” I am always available for friends, colleagues, network affiliations…yet can’t even get a simple response to an easy question.”
The interaction that sent me over the edge is with the person I mentioned in my comment. “JP” and I met at a two-day AFP (Association of Fundraising Professionals) conference in Baltimore, Maryland back in 2006. She took me on a tour of Baltimore with her husband and children, and we kept in touch for a few years, sharing information and tactics that helped each other with our fundraising efforts at our respective organizations. At some point, I was out of the non-profit world for a stretch of time, and the communication kind of ended. But then when I got back into it and was asked to lead a non-profit that I thought was a bit questionable…I reached out.
On September 24, 2022 I wrote her through LinkedIn:
“Hey JP! Hope all is well. I just got back in the game…officially…as I was named Director of Development and Marketing for After School All Stars in Newark, New Jersey. Although I have done a number of consulting gigs, it’s my first full-time role in 10 years. I was already aware that a lot has changed and difficulties in raising monies has increased. This organization is relatively young…about 7 years old…and has, thus far, received the majority of its funding from government grants (which will soon run out) and seed money from a local foundation. There has been absolutely NO efforts so far to establish an annual giving program. So my efforts will be geared to self-sustainability through the acquisition of private foundations. Any thoughts you may have would be greatly appreciated. By the way…I ran the Baltimoron race last October and I was thinking of the tour you gave me way back when…I think about 15 years ago. Hope all is well.”
JP NEVER ANSWERED that message.
Then on April 23 of THIS year, 2026, I again reached out hoping to get some feedback from her:
Just wondering about your thoughts….”
JP NEVER ANSWERED that message.
Finally on June 2 2026, I sent this message:
“Hi JP! Hope all is well. I have reached out a couple of times hoping for some input but I haven’t received a response from you. I am confused and not sure if it’s because you are so busy or for another reason that I might not be aware of.
Alan”
The next day I FINALLY got a response from her:
“Alan I’m ridiculously busy with work and life stuff.”
I simmered over it for a couple of weeks. Because if you are so busy…so very busy…and you DO have time to spend on social media platforms posting and commenting, how is it that you are not able to respond to a long-time connection?
So in my disappointment and frustration, this is what I sent to JP:
“Ya know…you can disconnect from me after this message…but for someone who is ‘ridiculously busy with work and life stuff’ you certainly have an awful lot of time to post and comment on social media. Because I had respect for you, and we had known each other for a very long time – over 20 years now – I reached out not for a favor, but just for some insight. I thought enough of your knowledge and experience to seek out what I thought might be of some value to me. What is the point of being connected to someone, or HAVING a network, if a person can’t even give you a few moments to provide a response? I always make myself available to anyone who reaches out, even if I don’t know them. And if I am busy, I let them know that I am busy and tell them I will get to them when I have a free moment. You never even gave me the courtesy of a response – not three years ago, and not recently. I understand busy. I understand chaos. And you never know what is going on in someone else’s life. But after being connected for 20 years…and you were kind enough way back when to give me a tour with your family of Baltimore, I can’t imagine why you chose to ignore me at this time. At this stage of MY life and career, I don’t pull any punches. I never did. But I think your handling of my attempt at communication was not right and certainly not fair to me, or to anyone. You obviously have time to spend on this and other platforms to communicate and respond. What would it have taken to address my question?”
Rather than having ANY self-awareness and understanding how the non-responses were not only disappointing to me on a personal level, but also highly unprofessional, she chose this path:
“Wow. This is a pretty nasty thing to say to someone in your ‘network.’ And pretty self-centered. And shows a distinct lack of understanding or even willingness to accept another human’s reality. You are right. I think it would be best to disconnect.”
Actually I beat her to the punch and disconnected from her. But the fact is that her response shows no ability to see HER role in anything, and she was simply gaslighting me and trying to make ME to be the “nasty” and “self-centered” person when SHE was the one who was inconsiderate and self-absorbed with zero self-awareness of caring for another person’s “reality.”
You would THINK that she would be happy that someone wanted her insight.
The truth is…with 11,877 connections on a social media platform, you would EXPECT to have SOME rate of return. And when you have people with whom you are connected with, and actually know personally, for over 20 years, you would similarly expect to have SOME responsiveness. Perhaps I am unclear as to how this networking actually works. So…if anyone could fill me in…
