The University of Miami is turning 100 this year and what do I want to do about it? That’s the question that I keep getting from the UM Alumni Association and their Development Department. How much can I cough up?
It’s all about the U! Not about YOU…but THE U.
Nothing ever stays the same. And that goes for the University of Miami. Sure, the palm trees are there. The youngsters are there walking around campus looking like they are going to the pool rather than a classroom. Well…a lot of them ARE going to the pool rather than a classroom but that’s not the point.
Sure that laid back feeling still looms over that beautiful campus. But it’s definitely not laid back for the same reasons as, say, the 1970’s. Back then it was laid back because it was pretty much almost a satellite location for Key West. Today it’s laid back because it’s a sense of “I don’t give a shit” and even more a sense of “entitlement.”
And to think I gave up Princeton University for this…
I was offered a full scholarship to attend Princeton. I turned it down to go to the University of Miami. When you graduate from Princeton…there is a prestige to it. Ivy League school. A network of fellow alum who treat you like you are part of an elite club. It opens doors.
The University of Miami would like you to think it is the same with the Coral Gables institution. At least by the price they charge for the privilege to attend. But it’s not.
Melissa is so sick and tired of the overt attention I get no matter where we go, no matter what state we are traveling through, no matter what COUNTRY we are venturing in…if someone catches a glimpse of my “uniform” (one of my multiple University of Miami sweatshirts) or they see my tattoo on my leg (of Sebastian in the U) people will inevitably call out…IT’S ALL ABOUT THE U!…while putting their hands out, thumbs together, displaying the “U” hand sign.
And, yes, I have had such love and loyalty for the place that I got one of my three degrees (to me it’s the most important one), the place I called home for four years, that I got a tattoo on my leg with the logo and school mascot.
Wardrobe, throw pillows and blankets, tiffany lamp, car magnets…yup…I should not be let loose in the bookstore.
I drank the Kool-Aid.
I originally did not want to go to college. But Princeton offered me a scholarship. I had a chance to attend Princeton University…on their dime. I said, “No thank you. I am going to be a commodities trader.” I told my father that I turned them down. He panicked and said, “Please never tell your mother.”
But when it came time to make a college decision, my mom said it was either “go away to college or you’re out!”
Enter Robert Berger. My cousin was a senior at the University of Miami and was working in radio. My grandparents “arranged” for me to “visit” my cousin at the UM campus. Robert showed me around, took me to a class with him, gave me a tour of the campus radio station, introduced me to the baseball coach Ron Fraser, and introduced me to some of his friends from UM. I was hooked. I blame him and I thank him.
My dad said to me, “If you are going to be forced to go somewhere, where else would be better to be forced to go? Just go and enjoy yourself.”
Thank you Cousin Robert!
Things change. That’s life. People move on. The scenery changes.
The palm trees. The breezeway. The student union. The pool. The Poolside Eye. The shacks. The towers.
My thoughts and feelings have evolved as well. And although my feelings for my friends have not, and will not, ever change, my adoration for “the U” has seriously lost its luster and taken a significant hit.
Mind you…I raised monies and donated monies…significant amounts of monies for WVUM since I was a freshman. I was commended by the Vice President of Student Affairs for raising more monies than had ever been raised by a student.
I have worked in Development and even worked for a college as their VP of Development. So I fully get it and understand the needs and the process and how the system works.
Sure there are plenty of calls for you to attend UM events both in Coral Gables and in cities close to your home throughout the United States. There are local alumni chapters all over the place. But the reality is that they don’t care about YOU…they only care about THE U. The only thing they want from you is your money. And if you don’t have deep pockets…REALLY deep pockets…you are worthless to them…and they make you FEEL worthless.
In any relationship, it feels shitty to be “ghosted.” But when you have done so much and have given so much and have so much love for that person, or that entity, to be ghosted hurts even more. And that especially rings true when you have been so devout and loyal only to get shooed away like an annoying gnat.
When the time was approaching to recognize WVUM for its 50 years of existence on the UM campus, I was the one approached by the Alumni Office to gather everyone together. Why me? I still don’t know but I was so happy to do it. It was 2017 and Homecoming had just concluded and planning had already started for the 2018 Homecoming Weekend.
I was in touch with the representative, Dorean Gordon Williams, from the Alumni Office who said that she arranged for a site on campus and food and decorations and all the trimmings. I checked in periodically while compiling a list of people who were wanting to attend. Emails were copied to Paul Driscoll, the faculty advisor to WVUM, and Emmi Velez, the then General Manager of WVUM.
March came and went. June came and went. August was back to school and everyone was busy. September? The communication came to a halt. I found out that NO arrangements had EVER been made. I was being dragged along. I heard nothing from Paul Driscoll and my multiple emails and phone calls to the WVUM GM, Emmi Velez, went unanswered.
I quickly arranged for a lunch for the Friday of Homecoming at Titanic Brewing Company on Ponce de Leon Boulevard across from campus. We had a nice gathering of 20 people from a number of eras. Not the turnout I had been expecting, but nice to see everyone none the less.
I had asked for the WVUM GM to attend and talk to the alumni. That request went unanswered. I asked for the alumni to get a tour of the current station facilities. That request went unanswered. However, some of us took it upon ourselves to just head over to the studios and take a chance that we could have a look.
I was disgusted with the way I was treated…the way the alumni were treated. And I disengaged.
Fast forward five years and it came to my attention that one of my WVUM friends, one of my DEAREST friends, was ill and not doing well, and was pretty much alone. I figured that it would be great to get all of his friends, our friends, together and make it a WVUM gathering, again at Titanic across from campus and still make it the Friday of Homecoming Weekend 2023 since there would be other incentives to get everyone there.
The response was unbelievable. I had to work it out with Kevin Rusk, the manager of Titanic, to reserve half the restaurant and he and his staff were terrific.
At some point, I got an email from the UM administration, Steven Priepke, asking if they could take part in the “event” and that they would contribute towards it. The reason was that they wanted to honor the retiring faculty advisor, Paul Driscoll (the very same person who never responded to me), and had no other venue to do that.
When I spoke to Kevin at Titanic, he was reticent about having UM itself involved because, get this, UM had stiffed him for multiple events held at Titanic and he was still trying to collect on those debts. Nice.
I agreed to host the lunch that had now turned into a huge event with over 75 guests. WVUM was supposed to be there to broadcast live, play music, and do interviews of the alumni. I had arranged with Kevin to have the WVUM crew go earlier in the week to ensure the setup was workable and do any sound checks. They never showed up.
I was on my way from the airport and got a phone call that WVUM still wasn’t there. I was late by about 15 minutes and they got there just ahead of me. That didn’t look good in front of 75 alumni who someone was ready to ask for donations.
I, along with many other alumni, realized that these “kids” were not the dedicated crew we believed we were back in the day, with a true sense of professionalism. It’s hard for me to criticize WVUM staff, but the truth is they blew it.
If you want to draw in people, raise money for your cause, then you had better make a good impression. And they didn’t.
Regardless, we had a GREAT turnout to celebrate the 55 years of WVUM, and to honor Dr. Driscoll who served for decades as the faculty advisor to the station.
After talking with Steven Priepke, I agreed to make every effort to help WVUM. I came up with a strategic plan and comprehensive and diversified development plan to help raise money and put WVUM in a position to be the way we remembered it. Unfortunately, someone forgot about ME. Every email and every request for a meeting was met with “next month” or “…let you know.” The wording is irrelevant. There were no meetings. No communication.
Ghosted.
I developed a WVUM Alumni website and had gathered a committee to help formulate what would be a WVUM Alumni Association.
Still, no word from the administration. Until…I had arranged for another “annual” lunch at Titanic and word got out on social media. I was flooded with text messages, phone calls, and…emails from the members of the administration asking if they could attend.
Of course I welcomed them. But although it was cordial, I truly felt like they were only present to monitor the situation. Even the new faculty advisor, Chris Bennett, a former WVUM General Manager himself, never spoke with me…THAT I thought was very odd.
We had over 60 people gathered for the 2024 lunch. There were people who had attended one or more of the prior events, but there were also people who hadn’t yet attended, and people who I personally hadn’t seen in over 40 years.
WVUM declined the opportunity to broadcast live, yet they did show up and a number of their crew interviewed alumni on video. And those video interviews are available to be seen on WVUMAlumni.com.
A new GM was tapped for WVUM…Felijca Luciani. She has, thus far, done a great job in a very tough role. But she has a staff that, for the first time in a number of years that I have been watching, has been active and actively engaging. They are trying. But with what support?
Michelle Starbeck, Steven Priepke’s assistant, raised the issue with me about the thought and need for a liaison between the alumni and current students and asked if I would be interested. Since I was already pretty much acting in that capacity, I said that I was definitely interested.
But then…ghosted again. Multiple emails sent. None answered.
I am left to wonder, is THIS how people are to be treated? And the ones that treat you that way are honored by getting tapped into Iron Arrow. Me? I am treated like a piece of gum on the bottom of someone’s shoe.
As a fundraiser I completely understand the NEED to raise money. But I also understand the ABSOLUTE NEED to communicate with your constituents. I learned very early on that people who are potential donors don’t want to be made to feel like you are only trying to “pick their pockets.” They want to feel like you actually give a damn about them, and that they feel like you are making them a part of what you are doing.
UM doesn’t do that. In fact, they pretty much never have. I did receive a desk ornament from VP of Student Affairs Dr. William R. Butler as a “thank you” for a large donation for equipment for WVUM back in 1984. Truthfully, the last time anyone made an effort to do anything of the kind was when Dave Scott was the Associate Athletic Director of the UM Athletics Department and he would send my kids Eddie and Beckie birthday cards every year. Other than that, the school doesn’t give a rat’s ass about me.
As for Iron Arrow, I think about some, actually a lot, of the people who HAVE been tapped into that society and I just shake my head. I am left to wonder what the standards actually are to be considered worthy enough to be brought into such high society of the UM campus.
But then I think, “I don’t know if I would want to be a member of any group that would have ME as a member.”
When I was at Bloomfield College, I actively engaged with the Alumni Association there. And I had to raise a LOT of money for that school. And it was tough because the alumni were overtly reticent about donating money to a school that didn’t even closely resemble the school that they had attended. It was a school that began as a seminary, and evolved into a small, local school for the wealthy, and further evolved into a school that catered to first generation college attendees and an impoverished population.
The elder alumni couldn’t fathom giving their monies to a school that was not what they recognized and which they could not identify with.
Now think about it. The school that was known as Sun Tan U has elevated its standards. All you had to do was be able to sign your name with an “X” when I first looked at the school as a high school junior. They didn’t care what your SAT scores were. Can you afford the tuition? Then bring your cut-off denim shorts and flip flops and you’re in!
Today it is about drawing the richest smart kids from around the world. Yes, the standards…the academic standards…have been raised. But so have the financial standards. The palm trees and pool are still there…but it is not the same institution.
It was common to see Dr. Henry King Stanford walking around campus in his orange blazer, white shirt, striped tie, and green slacks. He would talk to anyone and everyone. He would stroll into the cafeteria and sit down with you. I don’t believe you would see James Joseph Echevarria taking a seat next to you on the patio. I mean, this is a man who is also CEO of UHealth. He doesn’t have time for such nonsense.
It’s become a financial shit show, and it’s run like a corporation. Is it the fault of the University’s employees? Or is just the corporate structure that has been instilled in the academic community. Whatever it is, it’s not about me, it’s not about you, it’s just about the U! UM played a special role in my life…and has always meant so much to me. And I have gotten to the point where I question my love for the school that hasn’t done right by me, and certainly doesn’t love me back.
